at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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