What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
