Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
