Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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