Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
