I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
