she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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