So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
