Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
