i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
