Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
