dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
