we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
