Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
