if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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