he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
