What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
