Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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