It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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