after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
