what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
