She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
