We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You ate ashes out of my bong
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
