I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
