I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
