I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
