I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
home. puking in laundry basket.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
