dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
