it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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