Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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