This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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