You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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