What did I eat last night that was bloody?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
