Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
