Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
