It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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