yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
