I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
