Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
