they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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