"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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