I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
