I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
