Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
