just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
