We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
