I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
