for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
