NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just cropdusted the office
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
