My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i've created a new STD.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
